"I was the only one talking about the abuse": Experiences and perceptions of survivors who underwent child sexual abuse as boys.

OBJECTIVE: Empirical literature on child sexual abuse (CSA) has traditionally focused on the CSA of girls. Much less is known about the CSA of boys, specifically about the survivors' experiences. The current study was designed to examine the experiences and perceptions of male adult survivors who underwent CSA as boys.

METHOD: Fifty-one written narratives were collected from survivors who experienced CSA as boys as part of the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry into CSA. A qualitative inductive thematic analysis guided the data analysis.

RESULTS: The findings highlighted CSA survivors' experiences of not understanding and confusion about the abuse while highlighting the context in which the abuse took place. The findings also emphasized the exploitation of power and the survivors' difficulty identifying being sexually abused during physical fights or public events. Moreover, the survivors referred to their surroundings' failure to notice the abuse and their struggle to establish their identity and overcome the abuse consequences, their loneliness and pain.

CONCLUSION: The present findings advance the literature on the CSA of boys by examining narratives written by male CSA survivors. They highlight the potentially destructive role of the heteronormative and conventional masculinity discourse for male CSA survivors, which often enabled the continuation of abuse and challenges that survivors continued to face throughout their lives. The findings also stress society's crucial role in CSA prevention and treatment and the need for public education to challenge societal perceptions regarding the CSA of boys.